Mr T's rants and ravings

So I have been watching movies about professional killers tonight. I figure there are two kinds of people who watch those movies. One kind asks themselves “how could anyone do that in real life?” The other sort of person asks “I wonder if I could do that job?”

The first question is probably the most common question. After all killing is something we all pretty much understand is wrong. We also know that we’d feel guilty about killing innocent people. And of course there is who whole punishment thing. So we wonder what sort of a person could overcome all those natural instincts, all that lifetime of learning that killing is wrong, and all that potential punishment – internal and external – and go out and kill people for money.

And then there are the people, and I have no idea how many there are out there, who ask themselves if they could do it. In a sense it is the same question as the first question with  one difference. The difference is that they are really asking if they are the sort of person who could kill for money. I figure that most people answer the question in the negative. What does it mean to ask that question though? That’s not something I’m sure about. What  do you think?

OK it’s a morbid topic and if you don’t want to face it leave now. I on the other hand have no choice but to think about it. I’ve got stuff on my mind and the need to write them down and put them somewhere. Oh and frankly I no patience for euphemisms like “passing away” or what ever. Death is death and dying is dying.

I don’t expect to die any time soon and of course I have never done it before. But I’ve lost too many loved ones not to be aware of it. With my own Dad in poor health I worry that I will see it again all too soon. Hopefully not right away but probably not that far away either.

I am not afraid of death. I’m in no hurry to try it out of course but as a Christian I believe as it is written in Philippians 1:21 “For to me to live is Christ, and to die is gain.” So I spend more time worrying about those I will leave behind than about myself.

There are two basic ways to die – quickly and slowly. Quickly is probably the best way for the person actually dying. I’ve watched a bunch of people go through slow lingering deaths. Trips in and out of hospitals, gradual failing of body and mind, tests and operations and alls sorts of people poking at parts of the body that would otherwise be none of their business. It’s painful emotionally, physically and in any way one can think of. Falling asleep and never waking up seems so much easier. Well for the person who dies. For the people left behind not much fun.

Both quick and slow deaths are hard on people who stay behind but in different ways. I’ve had several friends die quickly (at least from my point of view) in that I either didn’t know they were sick or they had sudden unexpected deaths. That was hard. There was no closure, no saying goodbye and now time to prepare myself for losing them. On the other hand watching someone be sick a long time and in pain is no great joy either. But in some sense there is closure and a time to reconcile differences, say goodbye and adjust to the future without them.

So perhaps there is no good way to die for all involved. I think I want to go quickly though. It may be harder, initially, for those who are left behind but in the long run I think maybe they will be better off not watching me suffer. I’m pretty sure I’d rather not suffer. And as full of watching suffering as I have been in my live I think that can take a toll on people that they may not be aware of. They may think they want to hold on to every second no matter how much their loved one is going through but at some point I think one wants to see their loved one end their suffering.

The term quality of life means more to me every day. The more I look at it life at any cost and in any condition is not always the best way for anyone.

In an episode of “West Wing” the writers had the President say “Decisions are made by those who show up.” Woody Allen has been reported as saying that “Eighty Percent of Success Is Showing Up.” Others have said it is closer to ninety percent. Anyway you look at it showing up is important.

It is important during an election, for meetings at work, for just about anything were decisions are made or there are people to be influenced. People who sit on the sidelines and leave the decision making to others are at the mercy of those who do show up.

It is always important with ones job. Companies value people who can be depended on to show up. And not just on regular hours. When something extra ordinary happens and they need people to show up for it that is particularly valuable. Showing up for optional events is respected. Going the extra mile to “be there” is a powerful action.

I was at a lunch with a number of people after a conference one time. I was talking casually with the people there (most of whom were involved in planning and running the conference) and the issue of other companies in my industry came up. One of the other people said (roughly) “But you are here and they are not. We notice things like that.” Now I had done a little more than just show up – I was on a panel and had set up a booth with information – but the thing that made the biggest impression was that I was there and talking to people. That struck me at the time (and more so as time when on) as important.

I was at an event that Microsoft helped sponsor in Denver last month. Everyone was happy for the money but the really impressive thing to people was that we showed up in person and helped out. I went to a school play last week at the school where Mrs. T teaches. The kids and their parents were most pleased and impressed with the teachers who took the time to show up. It made a difference!

Many organizations I have been involved with have said that they value donations of money and material. Christian organizations always say they value prayer (and they do.) But they all make a point to say that they value people’s time – that they show up. I’m on a number of advisory boards and time and again I hear from them how glad they are that I show up for meetings.

While it might be cool to have influential names on a roster of an advisory board the real value is provided when people show up to help make decisions and recommendations.

So when thinking about showing up or not for something think hard. Think very hard. You just may want to show up after all.

OK this really bothers me. Students at a number of top tech colleges worked very effectively at  ballot stuffing for a Victoria’s Secret contest. Oh I am sure that to most people it looks like a lot of harmless fun. To others it screams out that is was all Victoria’s Secret’s fault because they didn’t properly secure the site/process. I think that is called blaming the victim.

But to me it screams that we have too much acceptance of dishonestly. They shouldn’t have to lock down the site because people should not be trying to game the system in this fashion.

Time and again while I was teaching I heard from students that if I didn’t want people to vandalize the school computers that it was my job to make it harder for them to do so. Leaving any opening, no matter how small, was taken as permission by these individuals. “Does that extend to houses?” I once asked. “Yes” was the reply. Oh but not their house. If someone broke into their house there would  be serious consequences. But if they were found in someone else’s house there should not be a penalty because, after all, there wasn’t enough of a barrier  to keep them out so it would the home owner’s fault.

But coming back to the computer side of things. In the very early days of computers we didn’t have much in the way of security beyond physical security. If you were allowed in the room you could do what you wanted. But people could usually be trusted. We were all in it to help each other, to cooperate, and to stay out of other people’s business. That didn’t last long though.

So now we have online polls for all sorts of things and people are taking advantage of less than ideal security to cheat. Are laws broken/ Often, probably not. To many people if it isn’t illegal it is permissible and ethical. I would say that is not the case and gaming these systems is unethical.

“But no one is hurt.” Not true. People who honestly and ethically work hard within the spirit of the competition wind up having no chance. Their hard work goes in vain – often without them knowing they are doomed to be frustrated. The people who run the competition are hurt. In this case the servers actually crashed under the load. That cost time and money to correct. Plus the benefits the company hoped to get from the event are diminished. Even the publicity they are getting is not what they want.

I would argue that the perpetrators are ultimately hurt as well. They wind up being hailed as heroes and stars and “great hackers” while doing something of dubious ethics. Being rewarded for unethical behavior is not good for ones long term prospects of growing more ethical.

We really need ethical people in the software industry. Really. So when things like this happens I find it very depressing.