10 things likely to be overheard from a Klingon Programmer

I have no idea where this came from originally but it showed up on a mailing list I am on this morning.

  1. Specifications are for the weak and timid!
  2. You question the worthiness of my code? I should kill you where you stand!
  3. Indentation?! – I will show you how to indent when I indent your skull!
  4. What is this talk of ‘release’? Klingons do not make software ‘releases’. Our software ‘escapes’ leaving a bloody trail of designers and quality assurance people in its wake.
  5. Klingon function calls do not have ‘parameters’ – they have ‘arguments’ – and they ALWAYS WIN THEM.
  6. Debugging? Klingons do not debug. Our software does not coddle the weak.
  7. A TRUE Klingon Warrior does not comment on his code!
  8. Klingon software does NOT have BUGS. It has FEATURES, and those features are too sophisticated for a Romulan pig like you to understand.
  9. You cannot truly appreciate Dilbert unless you’ve read it in the original Klingon.
  10. Our users will know fear and cower before our software! Ship it! Ship it and let them flee like the dogs they are!

One Response to “10 things likely to be overheard from a Klingon Programmer”

  1. solak says:

    A classic. Thanks for reposting this.

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