A handful of insane news stories, all involving churches:

• Given discount tickets to a freak show, some were frustrated to learn that they’d paid to watch an, err, freak show, about abortion put on by the local church.
• Meanwhile, a Russian church was stolen. That’s right, the whole church has gone missing.
• A man in Florida (where else?) was arrested for trying to steal a handful of communion wafers during a church service. I’m not sure which is the most insane: that anyone would try to steal them (from a priest!), that he was pinned down by elderly people until the police arrived, or the guy’s mugshot.
• Okay, this has nothing to do with religion, but the headline says it all: Shoplifter With No Arms Steals 24 Inch Television. And it gets better.
• After having successfully outraged homosexuals with its ardent support of “traditional marriage” in the form of California’s Proposition 8, the Mormon church has moved on to outraging Jews, and in an even more insane fashion: by posthumously baptizing Holocaust victims. Shockingly, this has some people offended.