We adopted the phrase “It’s not my cow” at work. Actually, I adopted that phrase. Everyone else says something else, but I could never remember what it was, so I stuck with “cow.” The reason for the phrase is that, with surprising frequency, we’d ask another developer a question and get the response, “I don’t care.” And then we’d rush to clarify that it’s not that we don’t care, but that we have no opinion one way or the other. So it’s now a bit clearer. “It’s not my cow” means, “I don’t have a preference either way, so I’ll defer to you.” “I don’t care” means, “I don’t give a crap.”

So what don’t I care about?

For one, the news that Kate Gosselin gave her dogs back. How could anyone care? At all? If she were run over with a steamroller tomorrow, I would only feel the slightest bit of sadness. Not that I dislike her (well, actually, I do, but that doesn’t mean I wish harm upon her), but I don’t find her life any more interesting than that of a random person picked out of the phonebook, and if some random person I don’t know died tomorrow, I wouldn’t care at all. (Otherwise, I’d have emotional breakdowns any time I read the news?)

Furthermore, if a close friend of mine were to tell me that they had given their dog back to its breeder because they didn’t have time to care for the dog, I would say, “Oh, I see,” and promptly forget about it, because I wouldn’t care.

Why, exactly, should I care about this? It’s not really that I don’t care; I don’t really care that much about 75% of the stuff in the news. Here are some other news stories (fictional) that I would consider about as interesting as Kate Gosselin and her dogs:

• Boston Resident Paints Shed a Different Color
• Kansas Teacher Applies for a Mortgage
• Governor Patrick Has a Cavity Filled at Dentist
• Elementary School Student Gets New Backpack
• Rural Mayor in Fender-Bender with No Damage or Injury
• Local Swim Instructor Purchases New iPod
• Detroit Businessman Purchases Guinea Pig for Daughter

Seriously, how are any of those any different from Kate Gosselin and her dogs?