There’s a few things of mine that went missing at about the same time, and I can’t for the life of me figure out where they are. So here’s my latest theory. It’s also the most rational one yet:

Things that were stolen* from my car:

• My $10 pair of sunglasses.
• My car’s owner’s manual.

Things that weren’t stolen from my car:

• My iPod.
• My iTrip.
• My GPS.
• My stereo.
• My wallet.
• My registration.
• My spare change.

* Despite it being locked, with the windows closed. Inside of our garage. Which is locked. Clearly, it was a gang of professionals. Bump-keyed the side door to the garage open, probably, and then Slim-Jimmed their way into my car. They knew enough to not take everything, so that I wouldn’t spot anything missing right away. It’s the perfect crime. Almost. Because I’m too smart to fall for it. I want my sunglasses and owner’s manual back!