I stopped at McDonald’s on my way home today, since I was starving and otherwise would have gotten on 128 at around 5:30 on a Friday, which is just asking for a headache. So I took a leisurely dinner. I’m fairly certain that, as long as I was there, not a single normal thing happened. I’m copying-and-pasting an e-mail I sent to Rusty while I was there, hence a little shorthand/terseness:

Lady sitting across from me, after dialing cell phone: “Hello, this is (name). You’ve called this number twice. Who is this?”
“Oh, I didn’t recognize your voice.”
“Okay.”

Her little kid: “Who was that?”
“That was Daddy. He had someone on the other line.”

*phone rings*

“Yeah, well, I didn’t recognize the number or your voice.”

I’m inferring that they’re divorced/separated, but I’d like to think that if I fathered a child with someone, she might at least recognize my voice when I called.

Some guy on crutches came in and I overheard him ask her to tell the manager that the handicapped door button doesn’t work. She yelled for
the manager, who came over and said, “Ya, the manager is working on it.”

“She’s working on it, huh?”

“Yes.”

So then the guy at the French fry station went over and started pounding on the button?

And this surly lady sprawled out in one of the booths, with no food, yells to him, “Doesn’t work!”

I went back up to order dessert, and customers are just standing around by the register. So I asked the guy in front of me if he was waiting to order. He said yes, but made a, “No, I’m all set” motion, leaving me totally unsure?

So I finally approached the register, and the cashier was just *glaring* at Surly Lady? But kind of in jest, maybe? And after like 30 seconds of me awkwardly standing there and being ignored, she took my order. I got my ice cream and went to where the straws are, where I expected the spoons to be. But there were no utensils.

So I went back up to the counter, and asked. The cashier—who spoke perfect English—handed me a fork and knife.

And as I write this, Surly Lady is staring at me?

And then a cop with his lights on pulled into the parking lot, came in, used the restroom, and left with the blue lights still on?

I sent that, expecting an end to insanity. No such luck:

So I’m sitting here looking out the window, and some guy at the stop sign to leave the parking lot opens his door and… I think he threw up?

Surly Lady’s twin sister (!) just walked in and talked to Surly Lady. She’s talking VERY loudly about how she just spent $200 at the supermarket, and she pulled out a receipt as long as she is tall to prove her point?