Steve Jobs Publishes Harry Potter

This is funny. One publisher’s view of how Apple (or at least Steve Jobs) would have published the Harry Potter book. A great insight into how Apple marketing happens but probably wouldn’t work for anything or anyone else.

This entry was posted on Tuesday, July 24th, 2007 at 8:40 pm and is filed under rants. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.

2 Responses to “Steve Jobs Publishes Harry Potter”

  1. n1zyy says:
    July 25, 2007 at 11:43 am

    I’m feeling critical tonight. 😉

    1. The book would have been available only at Apple stores and just one bookseller chain.

    True because they’re comparing it to the iPhone, although you can buy most Apple stuff (e.g., Macs, iPods) practically anywhere that sells MP3 players or computers. I wouldn’t be surprised if they eventually branched out on the iPhone.

    2. It would have a retail price of $499 and no discounts would be allowed.

    I bet there’s not a lot of fluctuation in prices on the new Harry Potter book right now?

    3. It would be readable only on Apple’s slick new iBook device, which when purchased in combination with the book brings the total price to $999…according to Apple loyalists, “it’s a bargain at twice this price!”

    Since this is comparing everything to the iPhone, I don’t understand the comparison here. You don’t need a Mac to have an iPhone?

    4. Each new iBook would require activation through a third-party…said third-party can’t promise anything faster than 72-hour turnaround on new activations.

    This isn’t really anything different from any other phone. In fact, really the only thing different from other phones is that you don’t have to buy the phone from the cell carrier; you can also buy it direct. (Try buying a Motorola Razr in the local Motorola store in the mall and taking it home to activate?)

    5. The story’s plot would only be good for about 6 months, after which time a completely new and improved plot would be released.

    Updating technology frequently is a bad thing? I was going to come back and argue that Microsoft updates its software all the time too, but that sounds more like I’d be defending Microsoft.

    6. The lead character would lose the funny glasses, grow a gray beard and wear a black turtleneck…all the time. The source of all his magical powers is…his iPod, of course.

    Okay, this one’s funny.

    7. Despite having major buyer’s remorse, you’d tell all your friends it was the most amazing book you’ve ever read, causing them to also pay way too much for a purchase they regret almost immediately.

    This one might be too close to reality. I’m yet to hear many negative reviews of Harry Potter. Harry Potter is the movie I walked out of and began pacing the halls because I was so dreadfully bored that I couldn’t stand it. Even Brokeback Mountain was more interesting. (In that one, I only thought about rolling down the stairs.)

    Of course, I’m just weird. Not too many people hate fantasy as much as I do.

    Reply
  2. Mr. T says:
    July 29, 2007 at 12:08 pm

    Actually there are amazing fluctuations in price for the latest Harry Potter books. Some places are offering huge discounts to get people in the store. Others smaller discounts or other incentives. I bought our copies at a small independent bookstore as much to support that sort of store as anything else and while I did get gift cards I could have saved more money at Barnes & Noble or Amazon.com.

    Reply

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