Graduated

In: Funny|Living|School

17 May 2008

I’m now (essentially) graduated, with a Bachelor’s of Science.

As I was walking across the stage, there were five different people who shook my hand. A few congratulated me; the President beamed with joy as she shook my hand (given that I’m a W-name, her facial muscles must have been aching?). But the last guy’s words of wisdom, imparted with a serious, dignified tone?

“Do not.

Fall down.

The steps.”

Words to live by!

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8 Responses to Graduated

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andrew

May 17th, 2008 at 8:19 pm

Essentially?

Congratulations!

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Matt

May 17th, 2008 at 8:21 pm

As the footnote next to my name says, “Conferral subject to the completion of all requirements” or something of that sort. I’m waiting on a grade to be submitted to “officially” graduate.

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Mr T

May 17th, 2008 at 10:23 pm

Congratulations! What’s next? You have work lined up yet? It took my 6-7 months to find the right job after I graduated. Fortunatly my Dad was a good sport about it.

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Matt

May 17th, 2008 at 10:34 pm

I’ve applied to quite a few jobs, but been ignored at most of them. :-P

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Hannah

May 19th, 2008 at 10:35 am

haha, I love that he told everyone not to fall. He said it as though if you fell you would ruin the entire graduation ceremony, makes you feel special.

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Matt

May 19th, 2008 at 10:45 am

I always assumed it was more him being funny.

I have to admit it would have been pretty amusing if someone fell down the stairs… Although I guess they’d have been mortified.

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Mr T

May 19th, 2008 at 11:57 am

Chances are good that someone has fallen down the stairs in the past. It really would upset the flow if it happened. Sort of like that credit card commercial where someone tries to use cash. And of course there is that whole thing about not wanting anyone to get hurt.

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Matt

May 19th, 2008 at 12:06 pm

Of course, those commercials always bothered me. From my time spent working a cash register, cash is always faster, unless you’re one of those people that has exact change, if you can just take 12 minutes to fish around the depths of your purse.

Most of the time, though, someone would hand me a 20 and I’d make change. The end. Then people would pull out a credit card and I’ve have to swipe it, sometimes many times if it was an older card, until the machine read it. Then it’d have to dial out to the processing company and spend forever before coming back. Then it’d slowly print a receipt, which they’d have to sign. And chances are they didn’t sign their card, so I’d have to ask for an ID. Using debit would take out one step, but the overhead in processing the card is still longer than it takes to make change.

I’ve always wanted to start a credit card processing company that just runs a cable modem into these places. Set each terminal up to use Blowfish or some other sort of very heavy encryption, and it’s more secure than phone-based systems, has no dial-up latency, and would get the transaction processed much faster.

</rant>

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