{"id":3717,"date":"2012-10-27T21:31:12","date_gmt":"2012-10-28T01:31:12","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/blogs.n1zyy.com\/n1zyy\/?p=3717"},"modified":"2012-10-27T21:31:12","modified_gmt":"2012-10-28T01:31:12","slug":"things-on-amazon-that-scare-the-shit-out-of-me","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/blogs.n1zyy.com\/n1zyy\/2012\/10\/27\/things-on-amazon-that-scare-the-shit-out-of-me\/","title":{"rendered":"Things on Amazon That Scare the Shit Out of Me"},"content":{"rendered":"<p><a href=\"http:\/\/www.amazon.com\/OTC-Over-Cervical-Traction-Complete\/dp\/B000JNLT0I\/ref=pd_sim_hpc_82\">\n<b>Over Door Cervical Traction Kit<\/b><br \/>\n<figure id=\"attachment_mmd_0\" class=\"wp-block-image alignnone\"><img decoding=\"async\" loading=\"lazy\" src=\"http:\/\/ecx.images-amazon.com\/images\/I\/41izo0g5iPL._SL500_AA300_.jpg\" alt=\"\"><\/figure><\/a><\/p>\n<p>This is apparently a legitimate medical thing, although they said that about <a href=\"http:\/\/en.wikipedia.org\/wiki\/Trepanning\">trepanning<\/a> in the past, too. But the fact that it&#8217;s a real medical thing will not stop me from having nightmares tonight about being tortured with this thing.<\/p>\n<p><a href=\"http:\/\/www.amazon.com\/Cold-Steel-Gunstock-Carbon-Polypropylene\/dp\/B002D4CFO0\/ref=pd_sim_sg_3\">\n<b>Cold Steel Gunstock War Club<\/b><br \/>\n<figure id=\"attachment_mmd_1\" class=\"wp-block-image alignnone\"><img decoding=\"async\" loading=\"lazy\" src=\"http:\/\/ecx.images-amazon.com\/images\/I\/31klnS4rQhL._SL500_AA300_.jpg\" alt=\"\"><\/figure><\/a><\/p>\n<p>The picture sort of makes this look like a large wooden club with a huge metal blade sticking out of it. But that&#8217;s not what it is. Rather, it&#8217;s a large <i>polypropylene<\/i> club with a huge metal blade sticking out of it. Wood is too breakable. Enough said.<\/p>\n<p><a href=\"http:\/\/www.amazon.com\/Zipper-Pull-Non-Metallic-Covert-Handcuff-Lanyard\/dp\/B005IQSRA6\/ref=sr_1_16?ie=UTF8&#038;qid=1351386330&#038;sr=8-16&#038;keywords=handcuff+key\">\n<b>Non-Metallic Covert Handcuff Key<\/b><br \/><\/p>\n<figure id=\"attachment_mmd_2\" class=\"wp-block-image alignnone\"><img decoding=\"async\" loading=\"lazy\" src=\"http:\/\/ecx.images-amazon.com\/images\/I\/519AHSwt3eL._SL500_AA300_.jpg\" alt=\"\"><\/figure>\n<p><\/a><\/p>\n<p>There&#8217;s (presumably) nothing illegal about owning handcuff keys. There are maybe even legitimate reasons for wanting one that was concealable. (Though, short of being a magician, I&#8217;m having a hard time thinking of any.) But a legitimate reason for needing your concealed handcuff key to be <i>non-metallic<\/i>?<\/p>\n<p><a href=\"http:\/\/www.amazon.com\/Fury-Tactical-Angle-Metal-Knife\/dp\/B003QL0NEI\/ref=pd_sim_misc_37\">\n<b>Fury Tactical Non-Metal Knife<\/b><br \/><\/p>\n<figure id=\"attachment_mmd_3\" class=\"wp-block-image alignnone\"><img decoding=\"async\" loading=\"lazy\" src=\"http:\/\/ecx.images-amazon.com\/images\/I\/41MQydNyo%2BL._SL500_AA300_.jpg\" alt=\"\"><\/figure>\n<p><\/a><\/p>\n<p>The only reason I can think of for making a knife non-metallic would be (a) you need to perform surgery on someone inside of an MRI machine, or (b) you need to get your knife through a metal detector.<\/p>\n<p>If I ever need surgery performed inside of an MRI machine, I&#8217;m hoping the surgeon doesn&#8217;t use a $7.08 knife from Amazon.<\/p>\n<p>One comment happily proclaims that it won&#8217;t set off metal detectors. Two (though one is clearly in jest) talk about how effective it is on severing flesh.<\/p>\n<p><a href=\"http:\/\/www.amazon.com\/Nasco-662G-Suture-Kit-Ethicon\/dp\/B004JOAVUW\/ref=pd_sbs_indust_31\">\n<b>Ethicon 662G Suture Kit<\/b><br \/><\/p>\n<figure id=\"attachment_mmd_4\" class=\"wp-block-image alignnone\"><img decoding=\"async\" loading=\"lazy\" src=\"http:\/\/ecx.images-amazon.com\/images\/I\/31UEdl-0WXL._SL500_AA300_.jpg\" alt=\"\"><\/figure>\n<p><\/a><\/p>\n<p>This seems to be targeted at medical students, and the related items make it look like there are fake arms for practicing on. So this one is entirely legitimate.<\/p>\n<p>But I&#8217;m still going to have nightmares tonight that, while suspended in the neck-hanger in #1, my torturist (is that a real word?) begins suturing my arm at random.<\/p>","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Over Door Cervical Traction Kit This is apparently a legitimate medical thing, although they said that about trepanning in the past, too. But the fact that it&#8217;s a real medical thing will not stop me from having nightmares tonight about &hellip; <a href=\"https:\/\/blogs.n1zyy.com\/n1zyy\/2012\/10\/27\/things-on-amazon-that-scare-the-shit-out-of-me\/\">Continue reading <span class=\"meta-nav\">&rarr;<\/span><\/a><\/p>","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-3717","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/blogs.n1zyy.com\/n1zyy\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3717","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/blogs.n1zyy.com\/n1zyy\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/blogs.n1zyy.com\/n1zyy\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/blogs.n1zyy.com\/n1zyy\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/blogs.n1zyy.com\/n1zyy\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=3717"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/blogs.n1zyy.com\/n1zyy\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3717\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/blogs.n1zyy.com\/n1zyy\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=3717"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/blogs.n1zyy.com\/n1zyy\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=3717"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/blogs.n1zyy.com\/n1zyy\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=3717"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}