{"id":253,"date":"2007-10-29T12:01:25","date_gmt":"2007-10-29T16:01:25","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/blogs.n1zyy.com\/n1zyy\/2007\/10\/29\/a-public-service-announcement\/"},"modified":"2007-10-29T12:01:25","modified_gmt":"2007-10-29T16:01:25","slug":"a-public-service-announcement","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/blogs.n1zyy.com\/n1zyy\/2007\/10\/29\/a-public-service-announcement\/","title":{"rendered":"A Public Service Announcement"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>I&#8217;m pretty much an expert on zombies. I beat Dead Rising, and watched Shawn of the Dead the other day. (By the way, the catchy tune that is their themesong is <a href=\"http:\/\/youtube.com\/watch?v=9kHifMsirdA\">The Blue Wrath<\/a> by I Monster.)<\/p>\n<p>So a few comments:<\/p>\n<ul>\n    <li>They&#8217;re none too smart. You can fool them by walking like a zombie. Throw a hunk of meat and they&#8217;ll all clump around it. Someone with as much experience as I have is really pretty comfortable walking amidst zombies.<\/li>\n    <li>They&#8217;re slow as molasses. You don&#8217;t even have to run. Just walk away from them.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p>The more important thing, though, is the topic of what to do if there&#8217;s a big zombie infestation. There are three important considerations in selecting a location:<\/p>\n<ul>\n    <li>It needs to be a place where you can live for a while. You want a place to sleep, a bathroom, and an ample supply of food.<\/li>\n    <li>It has to be hard for zombies to get into. It&#8217;s unclear if they can break glass \/ break down doors. In Dead Rising they cannot, but it does happen a bit in Shawn of the Dead. Better safe than sorry, though: get something with secure doors and not too many windows.<\/li>\n    <li>You want an ample supply of weapons. You really don&#8217;t want a gun: they&#8217;re a pain. Just get a blunt object. Shopping carts work <em>extraordinarily <\/em>well.\u00a0 So do lawnmowers and cars, but you&#8217;ll most likely be indoors. Machetes, meat cleavers, sickles, and chainsaws are also incredible weapons. But when all else fails, just pick up a baseball bat or frying pan.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p>Anyone who&#8217;s seen Shawn of the Dead knows that a pub is a terrible place to go. There aren&#8217;t that many weapons (I guess you have plenty of bottles, corkscrews, and a Winchester with 29 shots, but that&#8217;s not really enough), it&#8217;s not at all secure, and there&#8217;s not much to live off of. (Just peanuts!)<\/p>\n<p>Dead Rising takes place in a mall. That&#8217;s not bad. But I&#8217;ve found something even better: Costco. They have big huge gates (like garage doors) that they close at the end of the day, so it&#8217;s hard to get in. There are a ton of skylights on the roof, but they&#8217;re so high up that if zombies come through them, they&#8217;ll plummet to their death. There&#8217;s an ample supply of weapons, and, of course, a <em>ridiculous<\/em> amount of food. There are also beds. (Though if you&#8217;re alone, you might not want to sleep, lest you wake up and find your brain being munched on.) And plenty of little rooms like coolers and a kitchen where you can hide out.<\/p>\n<p>It&#8217;s best to be with others, <em>but<\/em> beware the apparent tendency for them to become psychopaths and try to kill you. It&#8217;s best, then, to keep the best weapons for yourself and to sleep with one eye open.<\/p>\n<p>If you&#8217;re not a Costco member, I&#8217;d imagine that a BJ&#8217;s or Sam&#8217;s Club could work. Heck, even a Wal-mart would probably do. But if you want to stick with my recommendation, you can <a href=\"http:\/\/www.costco.com\/Browse\/Product.aspx?Prodid=3164&#038;Ne=4000000&#038;eCat=BC|502|503&#038;N=4001215&#038;Mo=8&#038;cm_re=1_en-_-Top_Right_Nav2-_-Top_membership&#038;No=4&#038;Nr=P_CatalogName:BC&#038;cat=503&#038;Ns=P_Price|1||P_SignDesc1&#038;lang=en-US&#038;Sp=C\">sign up for Costco here<\/a>. Note that it&#8217;s possible that, in the event of a zombie invasion, the lady checking membership cards at the door may be absent, so if you&#8217;re near a Costco but aren&#8217;t a member, you may be able to get in.<\/p>\n<p>Do be warned, though, that if I beat you there, I&#8217;m shutting the gates. So when the zombies come, <em>rush<\/em> to Costco. Coincidentally, there&#8217;s one in Nashua and one in Waltham, so I&#8217;m always near a Costco. (Why do you think I picked Bentley?)<\/p>\n<p>You may want to print this guide out and keep it in your glovebox, by the way. Internet access can&#8217;t be guaranteed in a large-scale zombie attack.<\/p>","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>I&#8217;m pretty much an expert on zombies. I beat Dead Rising, and watched Shawn of the Dead the other day. (By the way, the catchy tune that is their themesong is The Blue Wrath by I Monster.) So a few &hellip; <a href=\"https:\/\/blogs.n1zyy.com\/n1zyy\/2007\/10\/29\/a-public-service-announcement\/\">Continue reading <span class=\"meta-nav\">&rarr;<\/span><\/a><\/p>","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[9,15,27],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-253","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-humanitarianism","category-living","category-security"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/blogs.n1zyy.com\/n1zyy\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/253","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/blogs.n1zyy.com\/n1zyy\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/blogs.n1zyy.com\/n1zyy\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/blogs.n1zyy.com\/n1zyy\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/blogs.n1zyy.com\/n1zyy\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=253"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/blogs.n1zyy.com\/n1zyy\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/253\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/blogs.n1zyy.com\/n1zyy\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=253"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/blogs.n1zyy.com\/n1zyy\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=253"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/blogs.n1zyy.com\/n1zyy\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=253"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}