I stumbled across HuffPo’s FundRace, a searchable database of public campaign contributions. (I don’t recall the threshold, but campaign donations above a certain amount must be reported. I’ve given less than $50 to Obama, and thus am not listed, but donations for a few hundred dollars and more do show up.)

You can search by ZIP code, address, name, profession, or employer. (So there is no ambiguity: “Employer” lists the employer of the person who made a donation; it does not mean that the employer was involved in the donation. It’s just part of the reporting.) Some of the more notable things I’ve turned up:

• Those listing “Apple” (the new, proper name for what was once “Apple Computer”) gave $6,856 to Republicans (9 donors), and $40,421 to Democrats (48 donors). Microsoft was only slightly more balanced, with $97,281 to Republicans (95 people) and $436,236 to Democrats (514 people). Google had $51,327 from Republicans (42), and $337,265 from Democrats (268). Also Vint Cerf, whose accomplishments include things like founding the Internet (at least, moreso than anyone else can claim), works for Google, and was the biggest donor there.
• George Bush Sr. hasn’t given to any candidates, but has given to numerous PACs, including Sununu’s!
• William Clinton, whose occupation is listed as “Former President,” gave $2,300 to Obama (in “Q2 2008”). Somewhat amusingly, another William Clinton in VA, whose occupation and employer are blank, gave $2,300 to McCain. (A third William Clinton, a CA attorney, gave $500 to Obama.) Hillary Clinton gave $2,300 to Obama (also in “Q2 2008”). Barack Obama hasn’t made any contributions, but Michelle Obama did give $399 to her husband’s campaign. (That’s all?)
• They weren’t joking about Hollywood being liberal. Those listing “Actor” as a profession include:
  • Ben Stiller of Los Angeles, $6,900 to Hillary
  • Bette Midler (who I’m pretty sure is an actress, not actor) of Nashville, $6,900 to Hillary.
  • Chevy Chase, of Bedford, NY, $4,600 to Hillary.
  • Ben Affleck of Santa Monica, CA, $4,600 to Obama.
  • Michael Douglas, Universal City, CA, $4,600 to Christopher Dodd.
  • Will Smith, Los Angeles, $4,600, Obama.
  • Matt Damon, Santa Monica, $4,600, Obama.
  • Thomas Hanks, Beverly Hills, $2,300 for Hillary.
  • Samuel Jackson, Los Angeles, $2,300 for Obama.
  • Samuel Waterson [sic] of NYC (better known as Jack McCoy), $2,300 for Obama.
  • Morgan Freeman of NYC, $2,300 to Obama.
  • Adam Sandler of Manchester, NH (!), $2,100 to Giuliani (!!).
  • Ben Stein, Malibu, CA, $800 to McCain
  • Omar Epps (better known as Dr. Foreman), Los Angeles, $2,300, Obama.
• Actresses is about the same; I’ll let you read it yourself.
• Those listing their occupation as “Priest” collectively gave $35,351 to the Republicans (51 priests), and $57,222 to the Democrats (99 priests).
• “Rabbi” isn’t even fair: $18,735 to the Republicans, $115,187 to the Democrats.
• “Pastor” is the first combination I’ve seen that gives more to the Republicans. America’s pastors gave $205,731 to the Republicans, but only $113,984 to the Democrats.
• “Minister”s gave $187,799 to the Republicans, and $310,476 to the Democrats.
• There are actually more than a dozen bishops who have donated money; $7,118 to the Republicans, $11,650 to the Democrats. V. Gene Robinson, of NH fame, gave $500 to Obama. No one lists “Cardinal” as their occupation, and unsurprisingly, there were no Popes in America that contributed to campaigns.
• 101 people list their occupation as “Captain,” but it’s almost an even split: $32,330 to the Republicans, $30,423 to the Democrats. (Incidentally, “Captain” covers everything from military members to pilots, executives (?) to maritime people…)
• I was surprised to see that those listing their employer as “US Army” gave more to Democrats than Republicans: $186,724 to the Republicans, but $252,664 to the Democrats. “US Marine Corps” was almost 2:1 in favor of the Republicans, though it’s got only a couple dozen people listed.
• “Firefighter” is quite close. $61,759 from 100 people to the Republicans, and $58,995 to the Democrats from 111 people. Thus slightly more firefighters donated to the Democratic party, but Republican firefighters donated slightly more.
• “Police Officer” is quite Republican; $139,229 to the Republicans, and $91,622 to the Democrats.
• You’ve got red on you [video, only tangentially related]. 5 people listing “Deceased” as their profession collectively gave $7,754 to the Republicans, while only 4 “Deceased” people collectively gave $4,352 to the Democrats. I love the guy at the bottom of the list, who posthumously donated $2 to the RNC.
• One person lists his occupation as “Prisoner.” He gave $250 to John Kerry in 2004.
• One person lists her occupation as “Stripper.” She gave $278 to Ron Paul.
• Of 57 postmasters, 17 gave a net $4,840 to the Republicans, and 30 gave a combined $21,435 to the Democrats. Also, an amusing amount list their address as a PO Box.
• All 5 of America’s campaign-donating butchers gave their blood-money to the Republicans, a net $6,347.
• Only 2 nuclear physicists donated to campaigns; $400 to Mike Gravel and $250 to the RNC.
• America’s only campaign-contributing juggler gave $500 to the DNCs.
• Two out of three clowns are Democrats. (Umm….) Also, the only Republican clown gave his money in 2004.
• The guy who lists his occupation as “Santa” and his employer as “North Pole” lives in New Hampshire. (No one lists their occupation as “Tooth Fairy.”
• 19 people list “God” as their employer: 10 Republicans ($5,460) and 9 Democrats ($2,809). No one who made a campaign contribution in 2004 or 2008 lists “Satan” as their employer.
• Hairdressers who donate to campaigns are overwhelmingly Democrats.
• No Astronauts donated to campaigns in 2004 or 2008.
• Two psychics donated. Both Democrats. Think about that for a minute.
• Three masseuses donated, also all to Democrats. We’re a more comfortable party.
• 143 plumbers collectively gave $91,364 to the Republicans, while only 99 plumbers donated to the Democrats ($56,635).
• Cowboys favor Republicans, though not by as much as you might think.
• Most of the Red Sox management donate to the Democrats; Curt Schilling is the only player on the list, and he donated $2,300 to McCain.
• Almost everyone on the Yankees gives to Republicans.
• “Professional Athlete” doesn’t turn up many names I recognize, besides the aforementioned Curt Schilling. The exception is Peyton Manning, who gave $2,300 to Fred Thompson.
• Those employed by the NBA have given exclusively to Democrats.
• Seamstresses have a tendency to go Democrat, though not overwhelmingly.
• Innkeepers, though, are overwhelmingly Democrat-givers.
• Beekeepers (all 9 of them) are almost split down the middle.

I think my research is done. I’ll go with the party with fewer zombie contributors, and the backing of two out of three clowns, and the majority of seamstresses. Just don’t tell any butchers. Really, though, what did it for me was seeing who the psychics were supporting.