A Game of You
I have this problem…
I find myself more or less worrying constantly about things that are either totally unimportant, silly, or whose state/outcome is fixed and can’t be changed. I present the following examples:
The day before I started my two-week winter break job, my primary concern was not the work I’d be doing, being able to see my coworkers again, or waking up at 4:45am to catch the train. No, it was “I hope security knows I’m coming, because it would be really embarrassing to hold up the line while they figured out who I am and what I’m doing here.” Of course, I did end up holding the line up, but it wasn’t nearly as bad as I’d predicted. Even though I know the brain is naturally miserable at predicting outcomes (try reading Dan Gilbert’s “Stumbling on Happiness” for more information) and experience has taught me that it’s usually never as bad as I think it will be, most of my predictions are just as full of doom and gloom as the previous ones.
I know that I have a strong and deep relationship with Katt (my fiancee), both in my heart and my head, but there’s always this nagging feeling in the back of my head that worries constantly about how she’ll feel if I “mess up” somehow or that she thinks I’m boring, etc, etc. I find myself apologizing all the time for mostly “imagined” slights and such. There’s nothing to worry about, but I find myself worrying anyway.
I don’t know why I feel so insecure about everything. Some sort of serious inferiority complex or something…
I’m a lot the same way. I also tend to expect the worse and be surprised when it doesn’t come. I’m not sure why that is. I know people who always expect everything to come up fine and are suprised when it doesn’t. Differently wired brains I think.
Mr. T
22 Jan 08 at 9:24 am