I have very little money invested in either account, but this isn’t actually about money for those of you who are just skimming the article.

401(k) plan over the past year: A good investment. (Sort of.)

Actively-traded brokerage account I opened with a small amount of savings as an experiment after realizing my bank was paying me 0.25% interest on that money, and after borrowing some concepts from Joel Greenblatt but only investing in companies with excellent analyst recommendations when they dipped below their normal range without substantial cause. (Axis is chopped to not show off my pitiful balance, but the rate of return is approximately 30%.) Overall: Great investment.

Key Lime Pie, frozen, bought at supermarket and stored in freezer for whenever I want a slice, even if it’s not a tenth as good as something you’d find in a gourmet restaurant or in Key West: Excellent investment.