Having worked in customer service in the past, I’m privy to a little bit of knowledge most people don’t have: the people working behind the counter are humans. I just got back from Burger King, where the woman in line in front of me clearly had never worked in customer service, or for that matter, had a single friend. “You’re not going to forget the cream this time, are you?” she taunted, before turning to someone else and talking about how outrageous it was that her coffee wasn’t made just to her liking. Then she barked “I’m watching you!” She turned to her friend* and said, “I should contact the regional manager.”

And that’s how I got the idea: I was going to find and contact the regional manager and mention the staff’s prompt and attentive service and their amazing professionalism even with the crazy lady who was overtly insulting them.

But my plans were foiled. For one, the regional manager doesn’t have a website or anything. For that matter, neither does the local restaurant. Burger King, of course, has a website, so I went there to see if I could somehow find the information. Nope. And then, a, “Why didn’t I think of this sooner?!” idea, I decided I’d email the corporate office and ask for contact information for the regional manager. Except, whoops, you can’t. You have to write them snail-mail.

So then I turned to my favorite resource ever, the Secretary of State’s website. (Googling “mass sos” is sufficient to find the Massachusetts Secretary of State, by the way.) Three companies are filed with the state: “Burger King Corporation” out of Florida, “Burger King Limited Liability Partnership” out of New York, and “Burger King Operating Limited Par” out of Florida. The latter two list “Corporation Service Company” as their resident agent; the main organization lists “CT Corporation System” which appears to be CT Advantage now. Looking them up with the Secretary of State, they’re a Delaware corporation that seems to provide legal services and resident agent services to corporations.

In other words, they’re not set up to want to hear from anybody, ever.

* I use the term “friend” here to mean “an individual who was with her and with whom she seemed familiar.” This lady couldn’t have had any friends, but I wasn’t sure how else to describe the other person.