I’d like to describe a new way of keeping the date. To simplify the current system, we’re going to wrap the day of the month at 16. So November 16 is “November 16, first-half,” and the next day, it’s “November 1, second-half,” because 17 would exceed the limit of 16, so you just start again at one and move to the second half. It’s a simple system, really: once we hit the 16th, we start over. If you have to convert to the old, antiquated system, the first-half numbers stay the same, and you just add 16 to the second-half numbers.

Sure, there are some problems. If someone says it’s “November 7th,” you might not be sure if they mean first-half or second-half. I think the simplicity of not having to count past 16 really makes up for it, though. And it should usually be clear from context what you mean anyway.

Okay, I can’t do it anymore. If you think the system I described is ludicrous, pointlessly confusing, and harder to use than just counting all the way up, I agree 100%. Except I’m really talking about 24-hour days, not 31-day months. After 12:59, who thought we should have 1:00?

I used to think military time was silly, pointless, and confusing. But more recently, I came to realize that what’s actually confusing is the concept of restarting the counter after noon. There’s no magical distinction that occurs. After the twelfth hour comes the thirteenth.

I don’t even think we need the military style, “Oh-seven-hundred hours” system. Have lunch at 12 o’clock. An hour later, go shopping at 13 o’clock. This seems really weird, but the more I think about it, the more I’m convinced that what’s actually weird is suddenly switching to a different numbering scheme that has all the numbers repeat twice.

It doesn’t make sense to me, either, that analog clocks and watches go around twice. At noon, the minute hand should be pointing at the bottom. It’s measuring completion of the day, and the day is half over. We can leave analog watches and clocks alone, and treat them as archaic relics. But can we stop measuring time in a nonsensical manner?