Recipes by Markov

Kind of like duct-taping a giant butcher’s knife to a Roomba, sometimes an awful idea pops into your head, and it’s just so ridiculous that you can’t let it go. Unlike the Roomba deathtrap, though, I actually went ahead with this one: Markov Chains meet some delicious holiday recipes. To make it clear where one ends and the next begins, I’ve unimaginatively labeled each. I’ll gladly take name suggestions in the comments section.

Recipe A:

Place the pastry-wrapped cheese seam-side down onto a baking sheet.
Brush the pastry sheet at room temperature for 40 minutes or until eggs are set.
Top with bread cubes and cheese.
Mix picante sauce, eggs and milk and pour over all.
Cover and refrigerate for 2 hours or overnight.
3.
Bake uncovered at 350 degrees F for 45 minutes to 1 hour.
2.
Preheat the oven to 500 degrees F for 45 minutes to 1 hour.

Recipe B:

Stir the cherries, pecans, honey and rosemary in a 10-inch skillet over medium heat, stirring frequently to break up meat.
Pour off any excess flour.
Heat the oven to 500 degrees F (260 degrees C).
2.
Place potatoes in a roasting rack.
Rub the meat can retain its juices.
1.
Cook the sausage in a shallow container.
Gently press the edges of the roast should be at 145 degrees F (150 degrees C), and continue roasting for 1 hour and 10 minutes, or until it’s easy to handle.
Heat the oven to 500 degrees F for 25-30 minutes or until the pastry square.

Recipe C:

In a separate bowl, stir together mayonnaise, onion, and bacon.
Gently stir into potatoes and cheese.
Spread into a 14-inch square.
Stir the cherries, pecans, honey and rosemary in a large bowl.
While the potatoes are just soft.
Drain, place in a shallow container.
Gently press the edges to seal.
Place the browned roast in a 2-quart shallow baking dish.
Sprinkle with 3/4 cup cheese.

Recipe D:

Place the roast to rest for 10 or 15 minutes in the bowl of a food processor.
Process until smooth.
Transfer to slow cooker and scatter the celery and the garlic in the next eight ingredients.
Pour into the pan to produce moist heat.
Reduce oven temperature to 325 degrees F (260 degrees C).
4.
Remove any plastic from roast, and place in a small bowl.
Spread the mixture over the cheese.
Fold the sides up onto the flour mixture to coat all sides.

Recipe E:

Let stand for 45 minutes or until the internal temperature of the apple, and the garlic in the preheated oven.
Roast uncovered for 15 minutes in the next eight ingredients.
Pour into the preheated oven.
Pour water into the center of the cheese.
Trim the remaining two sides of the pastry with the egg mixture.
Fold two opposite sides of the cheese.
Trim the remaining two sides of the pastry with the cheese and press the roast stand for 45 minutes to 1 hour.
Serve with the egg and water in a small bowl.
Spread the mixture over the cheese.
Trim the remaining two sides of the roast, and place in a shallow container.

Enjoy!

2 thoughts on “Recipes by Markov

  1. Sans the pecans, cherries, and vague reference to a roast, Recipe C has some promise as a delicious mashed potato recipe? Though I would advise cooking it. (Be sure to preheat your oven to a higher temperature when you’re done.)

    Recipe D’s first step introduces a whole new way of looking at cooking. I never thought to let my food rest in the bowl of a food processor. That’s probably why some people are successful cooks and I’m resigned to trying to not screw up using the microwave.

  2. And for dessert? Tomatoes with a cracker on top of them, coated in butter-glazed cornflakes, cooked on a skillet, with a side of slow-cooked onions.

    Pour water into the baking dish.
    Top each tomato evenly with the crackers.
    1.
    In a separate small bowl, mix together the cornflake crumbs and 2 tablespoons melted butter.
    Sprinkle over top of casserole.
    5.
    Bake in a 10-inch skillet over high heat; cook and stir the onion in the slow cooker.
    1.
    Preheat the oven to 500 degrees F (165 degrees C), and continue roasting for an additional 3 hours.

    Okay, and the main course? A delicious mix of chicken and shrimp, coated in every spice known to mankind. To ensure it’s all-natural, it’s apparently not cooked. It’s servced with tomatoes stuffed with cherry paste, scraped off the bottom of the oven after they were poured into the oven.

    Add the chicken, shrimp, sugar, Cajun seasoning, paprika, garlic powder, oregano, salt, and soy sauce.
    In a resealable bag, shake together the garlic, olive oil, salt, pepper and thyme.
    Spread the cherry mixture into each hollowed out tomato.
    Place stuffed tomatoes upright in a small bowl until smooth; pour into the preheated oven.
    Pour water into the skillet.
    Reduce heat to medium and simmer until thickened, about 10 minutes.

    Bon appetit!

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