The Thing with the Rows?

After years of not knowing any better, I finally learned the answer to, “Are you good with Excel?”

It’s an emphatic, “No.”

Of course I actually know my way around it really well. But, every single time, I have soon realized that I’d have been better off lying. “Hey Matt, I have this list of numbers and I want to find the standard deviation” would be easy. So wouldn’t, “How can I get this formula to apply to these cells?”

But, “Why isn’t my data importing from Excel to PowerPoint properly?” I don’t have the foggiest clue. Why doesn’t some complex formula you wrote work? I don’t know, you wrote it! Why doesn’t the SQL in your query work? Wait, what? You asked me about Excel.

I’m warning you. When someone asks you, say no, play dumb (“Naw, I don’t get it at all… That’s the thing with them numbers and rows, right?”) And, if there’s any signs that they’re not taking no for an answer, simply turn and run.

2 thoughts on “The Thing with the Rows?

  1. Try and get away with saying “no” when the company name on your business card is Microsoft. People expect me to know not just every Microsoft product but just about any software that runs on Windows. Yes I get AOL questions and Firefox questions and even Intuit questions. Oh and yes the occasional Mac question. Go figure.

  2. ZOMG Matt. I have the same problem! Suddenly, people expect me to be able to solve Einstein’s theories in excel. (Is that possible?) Hence, why most of the time I just play dumb… real dumb. Numbers are confusing…and so is learned.

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