Archive for June, 2007
OK I should have written this days or weeks ago but maybe it will help for next year. A survey says that 25% of fathers only want a hug and some peace and quiet for Father’s Day. The actual number is probably much larger than that. By all means tell Dad you love him and do it like you mean it. That doesn’t usually mean buy him a big gift. There are generally three groups of people involved in Father’s Day gift giving and I have suggestions for all three.
Children Without Their Own Money
Usually these people really love Dad but are aided and abetted by their mothers. Here is a clue – Dad has the credit cards, the check book, the ATM card and he knows how to use them. If he hasn’t bought something that he really wants or needs that is almost always because he don’t think the family can afford it. He’d rather blow the money of food, the mortgage or perhaps college tuition. So if you are going to spend money on Dad it better not come out of money he was going to use for those things. “Here Dad, we bought you a new drill press” seems great but is really and truly a mean thing to do if that drill press is going to show up on Dad’s Home Depot credit card bill.
Make Dad a card. Give him a big hug. Give him several. Clean the yard, clean your room, do something that Dad usually has to do or that you usually drive him crazy by not doing. Let him watch what he wants on TV. Let him take a nap. Get him a snack. Don’t spend his money on him. Oh and breakfast in bed? There is a reason Dad is still in bed. It’s Father’s Day for Pete’s sake; let the man rest.
Kids With Their On Money
Yeah, you can buy Dad something he wouldn’t buy for himself. As long as Dad doesn’t get the bill. But think about your Dad a little. Chances are he doesn’t need clothing. If he really likes clothes he will shop for himself. If you don’t like what Dad wears and think he has lousy taste this is a strong indication that you should not be buying him clothing for Father’s Day. Remember – this is a day for telling Dad you love him not for telling him “Dad you dress poorly and have bad taste.” Think hobbies. Think about what he does in his spare time or better yet things that will give him spare time. Maybe take him out to dinner. Or if you are a good cook invite him over for a meal you cook. Might as well make the day easier for mom as well. And don’t let Dad clean up either. You could also pay a bill for him – with your money! What can you do to make Dad’s life easier or take away some stress? That will make him happy.
If he wants to take a nap – let him. And oh by the way, he’d still like a hug.
The first big clue for wives is up there with the one for Children Without Their Own Money – don’t spend money on him. If you must buy something for Father’s Day buy some really sexy outfit for yourself, wear it and seduce Dad into doing that sort of thing that resulted in him becoming a father in the first place. If this doesn’t make his day your marriage has other problems and a big gift isn’t going to help. This will gross out the kids by the way so wait until they are asleep or they go home.
Let Dad sleep in. Protect him for the kids waking him up for his night’s sleep or his nap. Oh and think about what you like and don’t like about Mother’s Day. How much do you appreciate someone saying “Leave [chore] for another day” If you want to make Dad’s day either do or get the kids to do something Dad would otherwise have to do.
In general the goal of Father’s Day should be to show Dad that he is loved. That doesn’t often require spending much money and it never ever requires spending Dad’s money.
[Note: All Dads are different. Your Dad may be very different. Based on what I know about some people who may read this, your Dad may even be really different. This post is presented with no guarantees. Follow these suggestions at your own risk. Any resemblance between what is written here and any specific individuals is coincidence.]
The brilliant Scott Adams (a little suck up in case he sees this link) had an interesting blog post about soap. The problem has to do with bars of soap that get too small to be comfortable but not wanting to waste anything by tossing away the small bars. His readers had already made all of the suggestions I was going to make before I got there. But that just meant I had new questions.
What about those tiny little bars of soap they give you in hotels. I find them to be already too small. I do use them of course because I really don’t want to carry my own soap. I could carry my own soap as they make nice plastic travel boxes for bar soap. But you never know if they are going to open up and get everything wet and soapy. Sometimes soap takes a while to dry out after using. And what if the TSA decides to do something to the soap? I mean they probably don’t have time to mess with things like that but what if some disgruntled TSA inspector decided to spit on my soap while he was inspecting my suit case? Probably never happen. I am sure they pay those people really well and they all really love their jobs. I mean who wouldn’t love searching luggage with a week’s worth of dirty laundry in it?
And of course there is the little matter of the hotel staff cleaning away the used bars (sometimes every day) and wondering about what happens to them. Now there is waste. A couple of uses and those small bars are pretty useless. But sometimes people only stay overnight and take only one shower. Or maybe only wash their hands and face. So there could be lots of life (relatively speaking for such a small bar) left in the bar. Of course one doesn’t really want to reuse a bar that someone else has used. One never knows what has been washed with it. On second thought do you suppose there are people out there who get turned on by using a bar of soap that someone else has used? There are a lot of weird people out there you know.
This brings up another question. Can you wash soap and if so does that make it usable by others? So many questions, so few answers.